improve CI for tag publishing

[Emilgardis]

resolves #1050

[Emilgardis]

there's some things that need to be heavily considered here, as there is a risk of spinning infinite workflows when using a deploy key (the reason why that workaround is needed, i.e it should not be easy to accidentally have a workflow trigger itself or other workflows over and over).

The publish job + build

The publish job is triggered in five cases. All of these need the event to be a push (since the build job is a need for publish, and that need is gated on if: github.event_name == 'push')

1. on the default_branch, or main in our case
2. on the staging branch
3. on the try branch
4. on branches matching v*.*.*
5. on tags matching v*.*.*

In default_branch/main

In the case of main, the workflow does the following.

1. build builds and publishes images for these targets with the tag main and edge. It also assembles binaries for artifacting
2. If all ok, the publish job triggers
3. this calls cargo xtask ci-job release which
   1. inspects the package version
   2. if the version does not exist as a tag, create a new tag for that version and push it.
      this tag will trigger the CI workflow again, but with ref_type == "tag"
      if the version does exist, exit quietly.
4. publish now calls cargo-publish which creates a new release with draft tag Unreleased, attaches binaries from step 1, and does a cargo publish --dry-run, this tag uses the standard github token for workflows, and should not be able to trigger any other workflows.

In staging / try branch

In staging or try, we need to make sure that nothing goes out.
This includes tags, releases and cargo publish

1. build builds (but does not publish) images for these targets with the tag try/staging. It also assembles binaries for artifacting
2. If all ok, the publish job triggers
3. this calls cargo xtask ci-job release which
   1. inspects the package version
   2. if the version does not exist as a tag, "dry-run" creating the tag and push it.
      if the version does exist, exit quietly.
4. publish now calls cargo-publish which does a cargo publish --dry-run

On branches matching v*.*.*

1. build builds (but does not publish) images for these targets with the tag vx.y.z and edge. It also assembles binaries for artifacting
2. If all ok, the publish job triggers
3. this calls cargo xtask ci-job release which
   1. inspects the package version
   2. since the ref_type == "branch", if the version does not exist as a tag,
      create a new tag for that version and push it.
      this tag will trigger the CI workflow again, but with ref_type == "tag"
      if the version does exist, exit quietly.
4. publish now calls cargo-publish which does nothing

On tags matching v*.*.*

In this case, we need to make sure that the created release does not trigger a workflow.

1. build builds and publishes images for these targets with the tag vx.y.z. It also assembles binaries for artifacting
2. If all ok, the publish job triggers
3. this calls cargo xtask ci-job release which
   1. inspects the package version
   2. since the ref_type == "tag", the program exits quietly.
4. publish now calls cargo-publish which creates a new release with tag vx.y.z, attaches binaries from step 1, and does a cargo publish, this release tag uses the standard github token for workflows, and should not be able to trigger any other workflows.